The Funeral
This is an original post from my my old forum
Looking back, I guess I was still in a somewhat state of shock during the first few days. The day is still mostly a blur. The things I remember:
Getting dressed: I remember putting on my suit and thinking back to the time that I bought it. When Gretchen's grandmother died a few years ago, I didn't have a suit that fitted me. The only one I had was one from when we were first married, and our social life never really involved a lot of dressing up.. So of course that one was way too small. So we went out to buy one. Gretchen helped me pick it out. Weird the things that come to your mind during times like this..
Family viewing:
The family had a special time a couple of hours prior to the funeral . I remember the kids and I each giving her a rose, and saying our last private goodbye.. sigh…
I remember the enormous amount of flowers and plants also, I know she would have been amazed at the amount and the beauty. Gretchen always had this thing of wanting pictures of flowers at family funerals, so I wanted to make sure we took some. I have to thank my son-in-law James for supplying a steady hand and getting some nice photos. I know I couldn't have taken them in the state I was in.
The service:
I remember getting into the limo. Thankfully the church is probably only a mile from the house. I don't know what I would have done if it ahd been a long ride.. The thing I remember most was being amazed at the amount of pepople there. They were parking cars in an adjacent empty field.. I was amazed at the amount of people that she touched in her life, It made me proud and at the same time I felt an overwhelming sense of loss that was shared by the whole community, family and friends.. many who came from out of state. God she was so loved..
The service itself, from the little I can (want to) remember, was very touching. I remember hearing a few of the testimonials, and
I do remember Kara singing, I was really touched by her thoughtfulness and the love she showed by offering to sing, especially when she was feeling very sick..
I do remember during the closing of the service really losing it when the pastor brought me and the kids each a flower from the pall.. Along with a small white dove that was part of the pall.. (We are pressing and drying them and are going to put them in a bible that was aprt of one of the arrangements).
Also when the pall bearers each walked by and placed their carnations on the casket, it really tore me up..
I received an audio tape of the service a couple of days ago, but I can't bring myself to listen to it yet. I did put it in and immediately cut it off..
And I remember the so many people who came and offered their condolences and support. I think I shed more tears in public in those two hours than I have in my entire life.
The rest of the day is vague, I remeber some good friends at the house that afternoon, and so much food and drinks that were brought by. I thank everyone for all their support during those first days. I don't think I would have made it through without all the love that was shown to us.
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