disco style ;)

and just for the record, I had a burning permit  :P

Alison rolls her eyes now when she sees me picking these things up and reading them. I think she’s more worried I am going to post one she’s made and put it on the site and make some kind of comment about the differences in the British and American english… I probably will ;)  lol

Anyway that’s for a later date. Today we went to WalMart to try and find a couple of things for the kitchen,  we didnt find what we were loking for but thtas another story too.  ;)

This list was just laying in the shopping cart we happened to take from the cart area so it was begging to pciked up and read anyway. Of course I obliged! It looks an interesting list really. Makes the mind wander a bit, just trying to decipher a few things that jump out. First being the $30 card-stamps… My guess is they are byuing a gift card and some postage stamps to give to someone? Maybe… Only thing that comes to my mind really. I suppose Walmamrt sells postage stamps too, I know our grocery store does. Guess I’ll never know for sure unless the author of this list sees it here and writes to me. Next item is simply “comb”. Short and sweet. Just makes me think this may be an older gentleman, not likely to be one to embellish things too much.. he simply wants a comb. Sounds like a clue that at least he has some hair left! And he needs a movie.. just 1 mind you, guess any movie will do huh? next to get from the list 2 AA batterys. well that should be batteries shouldn’t it? Not that  am the best at spelling sometimes either, just making note in case its pertinent.

heres a possible clue… Irish Spring Soap… this soap had its debut in the 70′s. Wonder if he/she has been using it all along?! They had some rather strange tv commercials I thought. Gave the impression all these folks from Ireland showered outside in a forest or something! lol well maybe he just likes feeling “fresh and clean as a whistle” (are whistles really that clean?? think about it! ;)

Ok hes got his movie and going to get his shower and comb his hair, then I guess he could be making a dip from the soup mix to have some nibbles while watching the movie maybe.

Now heres where my mind gets a bit scattered… scull cap… is this the herb or is it a misspelling of skull cap? Does Walmart even carry either of these products?? Ive not seen them if they do. maybe they mean a shower cap? the guy may be tring to protect what little bit of hair he may have left!

Ok the last line is Zac Brwon Band. I wasnt sure about this and had to look it up, its a country group. Havent heard of them really as I dont follow country too much really. seems they have a hit called Chicken Fried.  Not really something that I would be liking enough to write down on a shopping list, but thats what is great about music and the variety, something for everyone.

I really wish I could see and talk to some of these people who make these lists. That acull cap entry has me puzzled!

The prince and princess of Love

I wonder if they will let us use the palace if we dress up for our wedding?! lol

This was a pretty cool site with quite a few face cut out templates to insert your own photos. I should have spent a bit of time looking for a photo that matches the skin tones of the original photo a little better, looks like we were buried in sand up to our neck out in the Sahara or somewhere! I’m not used to seeing myself appearing to have any colour to me! Pasty white is my normal shade I think ;)

Give it a try, I’m sure you will find something here suitable to your tastes

Create your own FACEinHOLE

<–by the way, if you click on the chain the lamp lights! ;) ]]> http://www.garazon.com/2008/11/30/i-want-a-leg-lamp/feed/ 4 http://www.garazon.com/2008/11/27/happy-thanksgiving/ http://www.garazon.com/2008/11/27/happy-thanksgiving/#comments Thu, 27 Nov 2008 21:33:28 +0000 admin http://www.garazon.com/?p=452 It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a rendition of Alice’s Restaurant

Enjoy

Alice’s Restaurant from http://bookmole.vox.com/
This song is called Alice’s Restaurant, and it’s about Alice, and the
restaurant, but Alice’s Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,
that’s just the name of the song, and that’s why I called the song Alice’s
Restaurant.

You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant
Walk right in it’s around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on – two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the
restaurant, but Alice doesn’t live in the restaurant, she lives in the
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin’ in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin’ all that room,
seein’ as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn’t
have to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided it’d be
a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So
we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed
on toward the city dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across across the
dump saying, “Closed on Thanksgiving.” And we had never heard of a dump
closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off
into the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.

We didn’t find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the
side road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
is better than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we
decided to throw our’s down.

That’s what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving
dinner that couldn’t be beat, went to sleep and didn’t get up until the
next morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, “Kid,
we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information about it.” And
I said, “Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope
under that garbage.”

After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go down
and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak to him at the
police officer’s station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the
police officer’s station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at
the police station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for
being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn’t very likely, and
we didn’t expect it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out
and told us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again,
which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer’s station
there was a third possibility that we hadn’t even counted upon, and we was
both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said “Obie, I don’t think I
can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on.” He said, “Shut up, kid.
Get in the back of the patrol car.”

And that’s what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the
quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three stop
signs, two police officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all kinds of
cop equipment that they had hanging around the police officer’s station.
They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and that’s not to
mention the aerial photography.

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, “Kid, I’m going to put you in the cell, I want your
wallet and your belt.” And I said, “Obie, I can understand you wanting my
wallet so I don’t have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you
want my belt for?” And he said, “Kid, we don’t want any hangings.” I
said, “Obie, did you think I was going to hang myself for littering?”
Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn’t hit myself over the head and drown, and he took
out the toilet paper so I couldn’t bend the bars roll out the – roll the
toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie
was making sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice
(remember Alice? It’s a song about Alice), Alice came by and with a few
nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back
to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat,
and didn’t get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of each one, sat down. Man came in said, “All rise.” We all stood up,
and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
’cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there wasn’t nothing he could do about it, and the
judge wasn’t going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And
we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
what I came to tell you about.

Came to talk about the draft.

They got a building down New York City, it’s called Whitehall Street,
where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one
day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so
I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted
to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,
and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o’ mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave
me a piece of paper, said, “Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604.”

And I went up there, I said, “Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL.” And I started jumpin up and down yelling, “KILL, KILL,” and
he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, “KILL, KILL.” And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me,
sent me down the hall, said, “You’re our boy.”

Didn’t feel too good about it.

Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was doin’ to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean nasty
ugly things and I was just having a tough time there, and they was
inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was leaving no
part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,
and I walked up and said, “What do you want?” He said, “Kid, we only got
one question. Have you ever been arrested?”

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice’s Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all
the phenome… – and he stopped me right there and said, “Kid, did you ever
go to court?”

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, “Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench that says Group W …. NOW kid!!”

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W’s
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean ‘n’ ugly
‘n’ nasty ‘n’ horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, “Kid, whad’ya get?” I said, “I didn’t get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage.” He said, “What were you arrested for, kid?”
And I said, “Littering.” And they all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, “And creating a nuisance.” And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of
things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

“Kids, this-piece-of-paper’s-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-
know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-
you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-
officer’s-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say”, and talked for
forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it
down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, there on the
other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on
the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the
following words:

(“KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?”)

I went over to the sargent, said, “Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I’ve rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I’m
sittin’ here on the bench, I mean I’m sittin here on the Group W bench
’cause you want to know if I’m moral enough join the army, burn women,
kids, houses and villages after bein’ a litterbug.” He looked at me and
said, “Kid, we don’t like your kind, and we’re gonna send you fingerprints
off to Washington.”

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a
study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I’m
singing you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if your in a
situation like that there’s only one thing you can do and that’s walk into
the shrink wherever you are ,just walk in say “Shrink, You can get
anything you want, at Alice’s restaurant.”. And walk out. You know, if
one person, just one person does it they may think he’s really sick and
they won’t take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they’re both faggots and they won’t take either of them.
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and walking out. They may think it’s an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and
walking out. And friends they may thinks it’s a movement.

And that’s what it is , the Alice’s Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come’s around on the
guitar.

With feeling. So we’ll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and
sing it when it does. Here it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant
Walk right in it’s around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant

That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
I’ve been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another twenty five minutes. I’m not proud… or tired.

So we’ll wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part
harmony and feeling.

We’re just waitin’ for it to come around is what we’re doing.

All right now.

You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant
Excepting Alice
You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant
Walk right in it’s around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice’s Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice’s Restaurant
©1966,1967 (Renewed) by Appleseed Music Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Actually it’s on a shopping list I found today at the store. Working at a supermarket you find these lists left all over the store very often. I must have picked up hundreds over the years, it’s always interested me to read them , just to get a glimpse into the person writing them or just curious to see what people go to the store to buy. Not to mention sometimes these lists are written on some strange things, and some very common things too, the most popular medium in the summer time in a tourist area is a paper plate. ;)

I think I may turn these lists into a semi regular series of posts if I happen to come across some interesting ones. Well this one just caught my eye being on the bright green paper firstly and then reading the two items near the middle, ‘soft for kitties’ and ‘hard for kitties’. Now I have to admit I didn’t have a clue at first read what it was referring to, well you know where my mind was ;) Then as Alison says , the penny dropped and I realised they were referring to cat food. LOL still makes me laugh though, I must have a recessed Beavis and Butthead gene somewhere in my DNA ;)

I just ut it in my pocket to scan it later when I got home and then I really sat down to analyze it. Now obviously the person(s) who wrote this have very high alcohol priorities. Wine has its own section , on top by the way, and not your cheap wines either, I really doubt they found any of them at the store, but we do carry a higher selection than most of the inland stores so I guess its possible. I only buy Jacobs Creek Cabernet Sauvignon so I don’t know what other types even exist! Yes I moved up years ago from MD 20/20 and Boone’s Farm :) anyway back to the list… next after wines… Beer! yet more alcohol.. Well they are on holiday most likely and why not have a good time. Oh there are going to get something to eat though.. Mussels! Ok sounds like the makings of a nice meal.. just add some Tang  and you will have… TANG? the stuff the astronauts drink/drank? well maybe they are having a healthy breakfast drink.. Or maybe its going to be used with the last item on the list, the Vodka! seems more likely to me, judging from the apparent like of alcohol  evident in this list. Well I’ve already commented on the next two items, the cat food. (God I’m praying that’s what they meant anyway, canned cat food and dried) then paper bowls and plates… ok a common purchase by tourists and most people this time of year, why waste any time washing dishes when you have wine to drink! and beer and Vodka…  Oh yes better get some bread too, always handy to have something to eat during your drunken revelry.. I’ll just assume the crab boil is for the mussels and its not some over the counter medical remedy! , hey you never know what happens when you drink too much in a strange place, you know? And last as I have said is Vodka. Well they wont find it sold in the supermarkets in Carolina. But I do see they have ABC by it so they are thinking to go to the ABC store anyway, still shows they’re not from Carolina as the ABC stores are closed Sunday statewide.

Wish I had scanned or kept some of those old ones I have found, there were ofte amusing notes written onth eside or phone numbers all sorts of odd things. Well i will keep an eye out now for any more of these abandoned lists and maybe turn it into a regular feature of the site, oh that sounds exciting .. sheesh  :-/ Hurry up USCIS and get our visa petition approved so Alsion can save me from this madness I am falling into!!!

Yes I know this is Independence Day but there is one Brit I wont ever lose my dependence upon, my beautiful bride, Alison Michelle! Happy 4th of July baby! :)

I can’t help but think that if the US had lost the Revolutionary War Alison and I would both be Brits and we wouldn’t be going mad waiting on this immigration and paperwork to get sorted! We’d likely already be together. well no doubt of that.

Well at least one or two things good came out of the US gaining independence, we dont have roundabouts or spotted dick! well not any that i know of anyway, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear of a few cases ;)

And for those inclined to comment about the Union Jack on display, just know its not the first time I have posted it on the 4th, last years post was having a very special one included :)

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Well I know its a serious story as I have read it, but I get amused sometimes to see the way the headlines are written and it struck me funny, yes I have a warped sense of humour :) . At first glance of the headline, I was thinking I definitely would want to avoid that particular hospital for any kind of treatment, or even to visit someone there! LOL  Well if that one didnt make me laugh, look a little farther up! Now I don’t know about you, but I wondered right away how in the world they got inside the foreigner’s nuts to find the drugs to begin with! LOL Well the story was of a man who was hiding drugs inside hazelnut shells, but of course the title is leading one to imagine something else. or maybe its just me. I had to laugh at the last line of the story itself too… “Drug squad officers said they had never seen drugs hidden in nuts before.” Well I can honestly say I havent either! LOL   I guess with the official language in Cyprus being Greek, sometimes the editors and proofreaders dont realise the way it sounds to immature Americanos like me! Well American news site make just as many, if not more, funny sounding headlines than these.